SAFE S GUIDELINES
We never give our hearts or our bodies away to someone else, we don’t “lose” them.
We always keep both and we are masters of our body.
Honor your body: there is no point during sex when you should feel pain or feel uncomfortable.
Only have sex with the right partner: the right partner honors the body - they are loving, safe and supportive - they have been clear with you about the reasons you are having sex, and puts equal effort into protected sex. (Obviously no need for protection if you have chosen to start a family.)
Libido - let your sex drive be the guide: having sex at the “wrong” time can cause imbalances: uterine fatigue and stagnation, or missing and absent periods. Using external factors other than your drive can cause these imbalances. The sex drive is mostly cyclical…honor this.
Keep it clean - use good sex hygiene! Both partners need to clean first so bacteria isn’t introduced/exchanged. Those with ovarian systems need to also clean after (pee, shower, or steam). If you can’t ask the other person to do this then they're not the right partner, and you’re giving away your health…you’re not being the master of your own body.
Lubrication is what makes penetration easier/painless (and helpful for fertilization if that’s wanted.) Wetness can be proof of arousal, but there can be arousal without wetness if there is a problem with pelvic dryness. Foreplay brings on natural lubrication and might take a longer than expected. but that is what is necessary to honor the body. Types of foreplay: massage, touch, kiss, sweet talk or sex talk, relaxation. It can take 30 min-1hour to get lubricated naturally but this teaches the partner to be attentive and loving to you and your body. Steaming before sex can help with lubrication and you can also use a non-toxic lubrication aid.
Patience: Wait for an invitation from the body to penetrate. For those with ovarian systems, the vagina contracting and trying to pull something in, is when the body is ready for penetration.